I write therefor I am

"Letting off steam might be more important in social life than we’ve recognized. Suppressing what we really think is widely understood to be bad for our emotional health. People who have had to hide their thoughts in order to appear as conformists to the prevailing orthodoxies have often developed deep psychological problems, which in turn can lead to ‘explosions’. Meanwhile, if people can express themselves, even only clandestinely, they might be relieved of this pressure."

I dare not write my feelings, for they appear as a fog in a dark place that no one bothers to enter   Nor do I give entrance because of my shield and sword of Benzodiazepines  For years I have taken Klonopin to regulate or annihilate feelings that no longer linger because they are no more than dead ghost   Most feelings have become mere experiences that visit and disappear, like teenagers who are becoming self emancipated   However memory is as fine or finer than I deserve and I use it as a tool of enjoyment and sometimes recreation  Do I deserve these gifts some of which have become talents of distraction  Nay that I care nor wish to entice one to read what anyone with a similar life experience and diagnosis lives with  Please see the disclosure at the top of this blog and may happiness be with you though a pandemic looms - in other words make the best of life because it is more of a gift than a burden  

The above brought to mind by a psycho.co article "What secret and subversive writings from centuries ago say today" by John Christian Laursenis Professor of the Graduate Division in the Department of Political Science at the University of California, Riverside. His latest book is Clandestine Philosophy: New Studies on Subversive Manuscripts in Early Modern Europe, 1620-1823 (2020), co-edited with Gianni Paganini and Margaret Jacob.